Buy-In ISN'T a Motivation Problem

I was talking with a leader just the other day, who shared something I hear more often than you might think.

She said, “Michael, I don’t feel like my team is bought in.”

And as we talked, it became clear this wasn’t just a feeling. They truly weren’t bought in.

They were struggling to have the kind of conversations she wanted them to have with customers.

The conversations felt shallow. Inconsistent. Avoided.

At first glance, it would have been easy to label it as resistance or lack of effort. But instead of pushing harder, we slowed down and dug a little deeper.

What we found changed everything.

Each person on the team had a different reason for avoiding those conversations.

• One team member felt deeply uncomfortable going beyond surface-level interactions.

• Another didn’t feel confident in their understanding of the product and was afraid of saying the wrong thing.

• Someone else wasn’t clear on why the conversation mattered in the first place.

None of them refused to buy in. They were stuck behind invisible barriers.

That’s why I’m such a strong believer that buy-in is rarely about motivation. It’s about understanding. When leaders skip the discovery step and jump straight to accountability, frustration grows on both sides.

But when you pause long enough to ask the right questions, you uncover what’s actually in the way.

We didn’t focus on the fact that the conversations weren’t happening. We didn’t shame it. We didn’t threaten consequences. We focused on what would actually make a difference for each individual.

We asked structured, intentional questions:

• What feels hardest about this conversation?

• Where do you feel least confident?

• What would help you feel more prepared?

• What’s getting in the way right now?

Those questions opened things up. They turned defensiveness into honesty. They allowed the team to talk about real fears, real gaps, and real uncertainty without feeling judged.

From there, the work became clear.

Some people needed coaching around communication and confidence. Others needed clarity and training on the product. A few needed help connecting the conversation to the bigger purpose of serving customers well, not just hitting a number.

Once those barriers were addressed, something shifted quickly.

The team didn’t just improve slightly.

Over a two-week period, they saw a 400 percent increase in sales return. Not because they were pressured harder, but because they were finally equipped to succeed.

Their service conversations improved.

Their confidence grew.

Customers responded.

That kind of result feels dramatic, but it makes perfect sense. When people move past what’s holding them back, performance follows.

This is where many leaders miss the mark. They assume buy-in is about convincing people to care more. In reality, buy-in grows when people feel capable, supported, and clear.

When leaders create space to understand what’s really happening beneath the surface, they stop managing symptoms and start solving the real problem.

If your team isn’t having the conversations you want them to have, pause before pushing harder.

Ask better questions. Get curious. There’s almost always more going on than what you can see.

Buy-in doesn’t come from force. It comes from clarity. It comes from removing barriers. It comes from helping people win.

And when you do that, results tend to follow faster than you expect.

Lead Boldly,

~ MW

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