A Quiet Rule That Builds Trust in Your Credit Union Team

There’s a quiet leadership rule that often flies under the radar—but for credit unions, where trust and collaboration are the heartbeat of the organization, it can be a game-changer.

It’s called Honoring the Absent.

The idea is simple: don’t speak negatively about anyone who isn’t in the room. If you wouldn’t say it with them present, don’t say it at all. It might sound like basic professionalism, but making this a formal cultural standard sends a powerful message: in this credit union, we don’t gossip, we don’t backchannel, and we don’t tolerate blame behind closed doors.

When leaders model this consistently, they signal something foundational to cooperative culture—what you tolerate is just as impactful as what you teach. You can talk about trust, service, and collaboration all day, but people notice what you do in moments of frustration or tension. When someone’s absent, and the conversation starts to drift toward criticism or complaint, that’s when your real leadership shows up.

Start with Yourself—and Teach the Why

This starts at the top. If you want your team to live by the value of honoring the absent, you have to lead by example—in staff meetings, in branch conversations, in executive huddles. Skip the side comments. Avoid the venting. Gently redirect when others start to go there. If you wouldn’t say it to them, don’t say it about them.

But don’t stop there. In credit unions, where values like respect and trust are front and center, it’s worth actively teaching your team why this matters. Help them see how even casual venting can create undercurrents of mistrust. Psychological safety matters—not just for morale, but for member service. A strong internal culture leads to better external impact.

Equip Your Team—and Hold the Line

Next, give your team tools to live this out. Offer them simple, go-to phrases they can use when conversations drift into the wrong territory:
“Let’s not talk about this without them here.”
“I want to respect the absent—can we shift gears?”
“Have you had a chance to bring this up with your manager?”

When people are given language, they’re more likely to step in and protect the culture you’re building. And just as important, you have to hold the line. Even passively participating in negativity sends the wrong message. Choose to assume positive intent. Focus on solutions. Be known as the leader who brings clarity, not commentary.

And in a member-owned organization, where accountability flows in every direction, it’s also key to promote direct communication. If someone has a concern, guide them to the right conversation—with the person involved, with a supervisor, or with HR. Venting to peers might feel easier in the moment, but it rarely solves anything—and over time, it chips away at trust.

Commit Out Loud—Then Reinforce It

To make this stick, be clear and public about it. Let your team know this is a standard that starts with leadership and applies to everyone. When you declare a new norm out loud, it gives people permission to uphold it together.

And when someone gets it right—redirecting a conversation, pausing gossip, modeling respect—call it out. Recognize it. Reinforce it. These small moments are how culture is created, and credit unions thrive when that culture is rooted in mutual respect.

Last, take a moment to reflect on your own habits. Do you unintentionally let venting go unchecked? Do you ever say things about others that you wouldn’t say directly to them? Are you modeling the level of integrity you expect from your team?

When you consistently model, teach, and reinforce the principle of honoring the absent, you create a culture of safety, unity, and focus—one where trust isn’t just a value on the wall, but something your people feel every day. And that’s what makes the difference—not just for your team, but for every member you serve.

Power Questions:

• If someone on your team started criticizing a coworker who wasn't present, what could you say in the moment to shift the tone without causing more tension?

• Have you ever seen “casual venting” hurt trust or teamwork in your branch? What happened—and what might’ve helped prevent it?

• How comfortable do you feel calling out gossip or side comments respectfully—and what phrases could make that easier for you?

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